YOU BUILT THE LIFE YOU WANTED TOGETHER. YOU JUST DIDN’T EXPECT TO FEEL THIS LONELY INSIDE IT.
But somewhere between building a life together and keeping all of it moving, something happened to the two of you.
You still love each other. You still want your family and the future you imagined together.
You just don’t know how to get back to feeling like the two of you again.
And there’s a part of you that hasn’t accepted this as the relationship you have to settle for.
HOW DID WE BECOME THIS VERSION OF US?
You know exactly what his silence means before he’s said a word.
He hears something in your tone and is already preparing to defend himself.
A conversation about something small somehow ends up with three years ago sitting at the table too.
You both know it’s going badly.
Neither of you seems to know how to stop it.
And afterwards, when the house is quiet again, you’re left wondering how two people who have built so much together can keep ending up here.
You’ve tried talking.
You’ve promised each other things would be different.
Sometimes they are. For a while.
Then another comment, another misunderstanding, another evening neither of you wanted.
And you’re back somewhere painfully familiar.
You can see what’s happening.
You just can’t seem to change what happens next.
THE ARGUMENT CHANGES. SOMEHOW, YOU KEEP ENDING UP IN THE SAME PLACE?
This time it’s money.
Next time it’s the children, sex, work or who does more.
The subject changes, but underneath it something familiar keeps happening.
One of you reacts. The other protects.
One pushes for an answer. The other pulls away.
Old hurt finds its way into a new conversation.
And before long, you’re both trying so hard to be understood that neither of you feels heard.
You can spend hours talking about the problem and still walk away with the same problem between you.
Because understanding what you’re arguing about doesn’t always help you understand what keeps happening between you.
That’s the part I want us to get curious about.
YOU’VE BECOME VERY GOOD AT NOTICING WHAT YOUR PARTNER DOES, BUT HAVE YOU NOTICED WHO YOU’VE BECOME IN RESPONSE?
You notice the defensiveness.
The withdrawal.
The criticism.
The things they say and the things they never seem to say.
And you may have very good reasons for feeling hurt, angry or disappointed.
But when you’re so busy trying to understand why your partner keeps doing what they do, it’s surprisingly easy to miss what’s happening inside you.
What do you assume the moment they use that tone?
What are you already preparing to defend?
What old hurt comes into the conversation before you’ve even realised it’s there?
What do you keep repeating, even when you promised yourself you wouldn’t?
And who do you become in those moments?
This is where The Mirror Method begins.
Before we work on what’s happening between you, we look at who each of you becomes inside the relationship.
The reactions. The assumptions. The patterns you’ve both become so used to that they happen almost automatically.
Taking responsibility for your part doesn’t excuse your partner’s behaviour or make you responsible for their choices.
It gives you somewhere to begin that is actually within your influence.
And when you begin recognising your part in the familiar dynamic, you have the opportunity to respond differently.
To find out what becomes possible between you when the same moment no longer has to lead to the same ending.
BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT DOING ALL OF THIS JUST TO ARGUE LESS.
You want to bring something up without rehearsing it in your head all afternoon.
You want to sit down for dinner with the children and enjoy being there, without wondering whether one comment is about to change the mood.
You want to catch each other’s eye across the kitchen and know you’re okay.
You want his hand to find yours on the sofa.
You want to go to bed at night and actually want to be beside the person waiting there.
You want your children to grow up watching Mum and Dad enjoy each other.
And you want your home to feel like somewhere both of you can exhale.
You want the ordinary moments back.
The laughing about something ridiculous.
The conversations that go somewhere interesting.
The affection that doesn’t need to be negotiated.
The feeling that you’re building a life with somebody you genuinely enjoy being with.
You’re allowed to want more than a marriage that survives.
You can start creating a relationship you’re proud to live inside.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BEGIN?
Relationship Audit
You know your relationship deserves attention. You want to understand where to begin.
The Relationship Audit is a private 90-minute conversation designed to help you understand where your relationship is now, what’s already working, what needs attention and what would help you move forward. Together, we’ll look at what’s happening and formulate a personalised plan, so you leave knowing where to put your attention first.
Your relationship doesn’t need to be in crisis before it’s worth looking after.
Back to Us
You’re ready to stop having the same relationship with different arguments.
Back to Us is a private relationship experience for individuals and couples who still believe in what their relationship could become and are ready to look honestly at what’s keeping them in the same painful dynamic.
We uncover what’s happening beneath the surface problems, understand the patterns each of you brings into the relationship, and begin changing what keeps pulling you back.
Then we look at what you actually want to create together.
The way you communicate. The way home feels. The relationship you want to be living in five, ten or twenty years from now.
Personality Assessment
You can’t understand why something so obvious to you seems completely different to your partner.
You want to talk things through. They want time to think.
You want an answer. They feel pressured.
Before long, you’re both frustrated, wondering why understanding each other has become so difficult.
The DISC Personality Assessment helps you understand your natural behavioural and communication styles, how you each respond under pressure, and where your differences may be creating unnecessary tension.
It gives you a clearer understanding of yourself and your partner, so you can begin approaching those familiar moments with more awareness and less frustration.
Communication Test
The Communication Test helps you take a closer look at how you communicate, including the habits that may be making it harder to listen, express yourself and understand each other.
You’ll recognise what you’re already doing well and where small changes could help everyday conversations feel easier.
Relationships are beautiful and full of possibilities.
What we repeatedly bring into them helps shape what they become.
And I believe wanting things to change and being willing to change are two very different things.
You may have spent a long time looking at what isn’t working.
You may have wondered whether the closeness you once had is still possible.
But if there’s still a part of you that looks at the person beside you and thinks,
There has to be more available to us than this…
I’d like you to know that the version of your relationship you’re living in today doesn’t have to be the final one.
Let’s begin creating a relationship you’re proud to live inside.
About Me
I’m a Certified Personal Growth and Relationship Coach, a Guinness World Record holding marathon runner, a wife and a mum to two boys!
TESTIMONIALS
From Crisis to Reconnection
“My world turned upside down when I realised my relationship was out of control with ongoing arguments and unexpected confession of my partner that she wasn’t in love with me anymore. With 2 school year children in the picture, we decided to seek help from a couple’s counsellor, but the experience left us feeling even more desolate. I felt that we only went to the session to moan at each other’s and put the blame at each other’s for the crisis in our relationship. It did little to mend our relationship.
During this crisis a friend introduced us to Marta’s relationship coaching. From our very first conversation, Marta’s approach stood out as refreshingly different. Her insightful guidance during the initial consultation offered more hope than we had gleaned from several hours of counselling with our previous therapist.
Through the sessions with Marta, we not only reconnected but started rebuilding our relationship with a newfound sense of optimism and understanding. Our perspective on ourselves, each other, and our relationship underwent a complete transformation.
Marta has worked nothing short of a miracle for us, saving us from what seemed like an irreparable situation. Thanks to Marta, our relationship has been revitalized, and our family’s future has a strong new foundation.
If you find yourself at a crossroads, doubting the future of your relationship, I wholeheartedly recommend Marta’s coaching. Her expertise, compassion, and unique approach have the power to rekindle the love and connection you once cherished. We are living proof of the positive transformation that is possible, even in the time of total crisis. Marta, you’ve given us the priceless gift of a renewed relationship, and for that, we will forever be grateful.“
“I gained so much working with Marta as my coach over 12 sessions and I feel I will continue to do so as a longer lasting effect due to the positive impact on how I think and approach life.”
“The only coach you will ever need, my highest recommendations! Marta has coached me during difficult times when procrastination and excuses were taking over.”
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“One small action can change your life and sometimes it can only take 1 powerful session to have a meaningful insights that last a lifetime.”